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Are you choking on ambition?

I had an inspiration not so long ago, perhaps one of the most important for a long time.

Before this insight, I had a basic problem: I could not understand why I felt a quiet but constant dissatisfaction with life. I have enough money, good health, many friends, a strong desire for self-development and self-control of an entrepreneur.

However, despite my good fortune, I felt lost and unproductive.

Finally, it occurred to me that my ambition was strangling me.

For more than a year, the “philosophy of uncertainty” has been the starting point of inspiration for me.

The problem was that I associated uncertainty with wandering, not exploratory wandering, but wandering with the expectation of finding my true passion. In other words, I was hoping to find my fate or meaning. Insecurity has become my foundation. Seeing the world filled with potential, my thoughts and aspirations passed from one thing to the next, each of which filled me with joy upon arrival and disappointment upon departure.

My insight taught me the true meaning of uncertainty, but I must first discuss my serious intentions with you.

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I felt lost because I was lost.

I mentally jumped from one grand idea to another, each time thinking: “This idea will finally satisfy me.” Alas, nothing really fascinated me, but it was not connected with the quality of ideas. Rather, the problem was my lack of conviction. There were few things that I really committed to doing, and I suspect this is common among ambitious entrepreneurs. We often want the title “entrepreneur” so badly that we forget to focus on the most important quality of an entrepreneur: responsible attitude.

There are two main theories regarding the discovery of passion: you either instinctively know what your passion is, or you discover passion by becoming an expert in something. As for me, the passions inherent in me are wide and speculative – I am fond of them as a hobby, at the moment. On the other hand, I know well in what I become a specialist. There is no uncertainty in this regard, but there must be dedication. For a long time I was not given the realization of this, because I wanted to succeed in many different things.

I did not want to feel limited to one topic. This desire, however, led me astray.

You should be comfortable with seeing yourself only as a small part of a much larger picture. Otherwise, you will strive to do everything possible, achieve emotional exhaustion and, in the end, you will feel lost.

Insecurity is important, but what it really boils down to is reducing the amount of control that you think you should have. In other words, if you focus on your qualifications and various other things that are fundamentally important to you (your fundamental values), everything else will work out. Accepting insecurity allows you to overcome your fears and focus on what’s important. I made a mistake by evaluating this as a subject to search, which was a vain mistake, but it turned out to be a good lesson.

Even if this article is mainly philosophical in nature, there is one significant point that you should take: it is normal if your dream is frighteningly big, exactly as long as you want to take responsibility for it. Use your professional knowledge to achieve it, let others help you with it, and put up with the insecurity that inevitably surrounds it.

Author: Gerard Maplesorp is a self-trained web developer, ambitious entrepreneur, philosopher from time to time and one who accepts the unexpected. Gerard believes in building technologies that directly gather like-minded people.

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